Isn’t just too too too tooooo much a-gurgling and churgling and over-arcing and under-the-rugging in this techno-kray-zee world? In the spirit of calming things down, this Monday I offer a wee but wicked poem, typed on ye olde 1961 Hermes 3000:
Thank you, Typewriter Techs!My refurbished 1961 Hermes 3000 typewriter has arrived in Mexico City. Typewriter Techs, the Riverside, Illinois company that refurbished it, shipped it to California in a box so well padded it could have survived a Mars landing; having discarded the packing materials and box, I then grew some new biceps carrying it on board my flight home. I’d say it weighs about the same as a wet brick. It was a loooooong way from the security screening area to the gate. Jack LaLanne, watch out.
The color is just as I had hoped, a foamy celadon (although it looks gray in this photo— too strong a flash).
LIKE TIME TRAVELING
I’m old enough to have had nearly two decades of experience with typewriters, both manual and electric, before I started using a computer in the late 1980s. It was an eerie experience to type on a typewriter again… like time traveling.
My first attempts at typing on this antique were clumsy, since I am, as are we all, so used to letting fingertips fly over a laptop’s keys and making scads of corrections en medias res and whatever whenever wherever and with the benefit of, after penicillin and sliced bread, the bestest thing ever invented: CNTRL Z!
“The 3000 model is a Swiss segment-shifted typewriter with excellent alignment, smooth carriage return, and quality manufacturing, introduced in the fifties. You’ll find it in a wonderfully bulbous body, painted in a color that some call “sea-foam green”… Not the very fastest or snappiest typewriter, but “buttery” in its smoothness, as fans like to say… Users include Larry McMurtry, Sam Shepard, Eugene Ionesco, and Stephen Fry.”
A tip of the Stetson to my fellow Texan Mr. McMurtry. As for Monsieur Ionesco, voila l’entrevue:
I WILL NOT PANIC ABOUT TYPEWRITER RIBBONS NO I WILL NOT PANIC
Although we now inhabit a consumersphere rife with such ecologically exploitative poppycock as single-serve Nespresso capsules… it is nonetheless easy-peasy to find typewriter ribbons that work for multitudinous models and makes of typewriters. I knew that from reading Polt’s The Typewriter Revolution, and a quick Google. Furthermore, Typewriter Techs included this with their shipment:
In case you cannot read the image and/or your
brain, like mine, goes into blur mode WITH ANYTHING WRITTEN PLEASEGODWHY
ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS, it says:
“ALL ABOUT RIBBONS
“In the 1950s ribbon sales topped 50 million annually, they were the toner of their day. But unlike toner most typewriters will take the same ribbons. There are several direct replacement ribbons available for most machines. If you cannot find one, don’t panic. The ribbon itself is identical, only the spool changes. We recommend you purchase the genetic black., or black and red ribbon and rewind it onto your current spools. This is the least expensive and guarantees a correct fit. You can also contact us we stock a large variety if replacement ribbons.
“Cloth ribbons will hold more ink than nylon. Cotton will soak up the ink, nylon it just lays on top of it. A typical ribbon should last about 900,000 characters or about 180,000 words… That’s around 500 pages. A good quality ribbon will transfer the ink without leaving excessive ink on the type bars or pages. If the entire type slug is covered in blue, it’s probably not a good ribbon to use again. Black only ribbons can be turned upside down and doubled in life.”
YE PAD
A related and most felicitous purchase was the Jackalope typewriter pad. Definitely it cuts the noise.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, YE LOVELY TYPEWRITER FABRIC
A most thoughtful holiday gift from my sister’s dog (yes, in our family the dogs give presents): this yardage of neat-o typewriter fabric and I do like it draped over the Hermes, just so. Nope, I am not going to attempt anything on a sewing machine, the typewriter is my own personal Mount Everest for the moment. Must get typing.
Perhaps, dear writerly reader, you have heard of Freedom, the app that blocks the Internet so you can focus on your writing (or whatever offline task). It is not cheap; prices have gone up more than a smidge (ayyyy!) since I purchased it some years ago for a mere USD 10. Nope, I don’t use it. End of review.
[UPDATE: As of March 2019 I use the latest version of the Freedom app and can recommend it. I plan to post about my experience with the Freedom app on one of the second Monday of the month workshop posts in 2021.]
Of course, a more economical alternative for
those who work at home would be to simply switch off the wi-fi signal.
But never mind, there you are, glued to your
computer, same screen, same keyboard, same desk, same chair, and whether
you’re using the Freedom app or you’ve turned off the wi-fi signal, either can
be reversed (that is, the Freedom app turned off, or the wi-fi switched back
on) in a matter of the slight inconvenience of a moment. Staying off-line when
you’re working on a computer is akin to trying to diet with an open box of
chocolates within reach! As they say, Don’t think about the pink
elephant. Or, elephant-shaped chocolates with a cherry in the
middle! Or, for a more au courant Internetesque analogy, Don’t think about
cats! And certainly not cats wearing hats!
YE OLDE NONELECTRIC TYPEWRITER
Yet another strategy for diminishing the pull of
the Internet, at least for some writers some of the time, would be to get up
from the computer, aka the distraction machine, and hie thee over to ye
olde typewriter.
My typewriter went to Goodwill years ago. But
now, with a book to complete, I am seriously considering going back to using a
typewriter. I am old enough to remember typing up my papers for school and
college, that satisfying clackety-clack and the little ding at the end
of the right margin… The calm. The focus.
Speaking of analogerie, I am also, as those of you who follow this blog well know, massively, as in an-entire-parade-ground-filled-with-dancing-pink-elephants-and-cats-in-hats-all- under-a-rain-of-chocolates, massively, relieved to have deactivated my Facebook account. That was back in August of 2015. Yes indeed, having eliminated that particular bungee-pull to the Internet, I have gotten a lot more writing done, and I am answering my email in a more consistently timely manner.
So, typewriters. I spent an afternoon of the
Thanksgiving weekend doing some Internet research. Herewith:
WHERE TO FIND A GOOD OLD (AND MAYBE REALLY OLD)
NONELECTRIC TYPEWRITER
Why nonelectric? It might be nice to type in the
tipi! But also, it seems that some of the best workhorse typewriters are
nonelectrics made back in the mid-20th century. The only nonelectric
typewriters currently being manufactured are from China and although cheap,
they’re crap, so if a nonelectric typewriter is what you want, think
vintage.
For a rundown on vintage brands and models, both
nonelectric and electric, Polt’s The Typewriter Revolution is an
excellent resource. On his website Polt also maintains a list of
typewriter repair shops.
You could start combing through the cheapie
listings on EBay
and Goodwill,
and if you have the time and can stand the skanky vibes, peruse the stalls in
your local flea market. You might even grab a typewriter for free– perhaps the
one gathering cobwebs in your parents’ garage…
But it seems to me that, if you want to start
typing ASAP on a good vintage machine, the best strategy would be to shell out
the clams to a dealer who specializes in refurbishing or
“reconditioning” quality typewriters, and who offers his or her
customers a guarantee. I should think you would also want to confirm that it
will be possible to source ribbons.
A few US dealers who look like promising
possibilities:
Olivers By Bee Oliver Typewriters Manufactured from 1890-1930s. An Etsy shop for antique typewriters.