Using Imagery (The “Metaphor Stuff”)

This blog posts on Mondays. Second Mondays of the month I devote to my writing workshop students and anyone else interested in creative writing. Welcome!

> For the archive of workshop posts click here.

The study of English Literature has its pleasures and virtues, and much to do with learning the craft of creative writing; nonetheless, these are not one and the same endeavor. You can earn a PhD in race, class, gender, fill-in-the-blank in the novel, yet still not have the wherewithal to actually write one. That said, a novelist who has never read anything by Shakespeare or, say, Jane Austen, and learned to appreciate why such works are so celebrated, is working at a calamitous disadvantage.

Analogy: an art historian specializing in baroque cabinets is not the cabinet-maker who crafts them. While the art historian focuses on fact and figures and on what the baroque cabinet represents in all its broader context; the latter actually makes one. The former might yammer on for a book or two about the Hanseatic League or the Counter Reformation or the rise of the urban bourgeoisie, and so and and so forth; the latter, she’ll worry about the specifics of the grain of the wood; the type of joint; the choice of tool; a carved rose or a daisy for the keyhole?

Further analogy: any furniture maker who would manufacture a baroque-style cabinet would undoubtedly benefit from some familiarity with the finer examples that have survived.

DEFINITIONS

As a writer, I don’t noodle much about literary definitions of the sort a highschool English teacher would lay on a multiple choice exam, e.g., whether thus-and-such is a simile or a personificaction, metaphor, or allusion. I just think of “imagery” as my palette of “metaphor stuff.” I, the artist, can ignore it. Or I can make tiny dabs of this; squirts of that; wild oceanic splashes! In other words, as I write a novel or a story or a poem or an essay, I use imagery– I apply “metaphor stuff”–when and as I judge it apt.

(Of course, if we aim to find readers, then comes revision and editing, and further revision… More about that big bramble of a subject anon.)

For using imagery, there is no formula. Some marvelous writers relish using loads of it, others, equally marvelous, apply it sparingly.

In general, it serves to slow down, focus and brighten an idea, a character, act, place, thing– whatever it is you want the reader to more sharply “see.”

Yeah, but what about clutter?

In my experience, most people who come to a writing workshop for the first time do not have the easily fixable problem of cluttering up their writing with “metaphor stuff”; rather, for lack of it their writing is dull. And when they do use metaphor stuff, alas, it’s more often than not cliché– that is, somebody else’s metaphor stuff, warmed over 279 times. (More about cliché here.)

How to come up with your own original “metaphor stuff”?

1. Practice. The more often you practice, the easier it gets. Like riding a bike, it doesn’t require some otherwordly talent; most people find it challenging at first and then, quickly, something they can “just do.” For a trove of exercises, have a look at my workshop page’s “Giant Golden Buddha” & 364 More Five Minute Writing Exercises.

2. Learn to notice it as you read. You already have an immense treasure of metaphor stuff at-hand, right there in the books you have already read and loved. Go pluck one off your bookshelf, open it at random and chances are, you’ll find metaphor stuff aplenty. As you reread– and as you read any new book– keep your eyes sharp for the way the author uses it. (See my post on Reading as a Writer.) How well do they use it? If you love the book, chances are, the author uses it very well indeed.

For those feeling a little creaky with the creativity mojo, I’ve posted previously about emulation or permutation exercises. Basically, you jot down another writer’s line or two– anything you especially admire– and then vary the nouns and/or verbs, adjectives and/or adverbs (or however you want to do it). In short, in these exercises the idea is not to plagarize another writer; rather, you emulate; by means of play, you create your own lines.

Yes, sometimes, like a big fat cheesy enchilada, too much metaphor stuff in a manuscript can be too too… uhhff, pass the Alkaseltzer.

But again, there is no formula. Switching back to the furniture analogy, I mean, “metaphor stuff,” not everyone wants all the swirls and twirls and dainty dimpled cherubs and roses and whatnotty-whatnots of baroque furniture. But some people think baroque is the Dickens’ chickens.

For your reference, and the satisfaction of all English teachers, herewith some definitions:

ALLUSION
An expression designed to call something to mind without mentioning it explicity; in indirect or passing reference.

“Where’s the Plantation?” John Wesley asked. “Gone With the Wind,” said the Grandmother. “Ha ha.”
—Flannery O’Connor “A Good Man is Hard to Find”

ANALOGY
A comparison between two things, typically on the basis of their structure and for the purpose of explanation or clarification; a correspondence or partial similarity.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.
—Frank Zappa

Minds are like ovens— if you leave them open all the time, everything comes out half-baked.
—John Michael Greer

METAPHOR
A figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable; alternatvely, a thing representive or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract.

She had heard any number of women talk of pregnancy as a slow ordeal to be endured, but now from month to month she felt only a peaceful ripening.
—Richard Yates, “A Natural Girl”

PERSONIFICATION
The attribution of a personal nature or personal characteristics to something nonhuman, or the representation of an abstract quality in human form. (Throw animal forms in there, too, whydoncha.)

He watched the clouds: dark swift horses surging up the sky
—Malcolm Lowry, Under the Volcano

SIMILE
A figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or vivid.

…a young woman in slacks, whose face was as broad and innocent as a cabbage
—Flannery O’Connor, “A Good Man is Hard to Find”

If you want to nerd-out on definitions, other bloggers can help you. Me, I am hereby definitioned-out.

SLOOOOOOOW
DOOOOOOOOOWN

When I teach this workshop I ask my students to each take a turn reading an example aloud. I would suggest that you do the same: Slow down, waaaaay down. Take a long, cool moment to read these examples aloud carefully, crisply, as if you were at the podium before a rapt audience.

We drove on, the morning growing in the sky to our left.
—Rupert Isaacson, The Healing Land: The Bushmen and the Kalahari Desert

I wandered the village of rounded earthen houses, golden and white, decorated with stark geometric designs. They had a peculiar organic quality, as if they had bubbled up from the earth and dried there. Flattened dung cakes stuck on walls to dry looked like giant polka dots.
—Naomi Shihab Nye, “Camel Like Only Camel,” in Never in a Hurry: Essays on People and Places

Inquisitiveness flutters this way and that, like a bird in a glass house.
—Aldous Huxley, “The Traveller’s-Eye View”

Given the single fossil bone, one fancifully builds up the whole diplodocus.
—Aldous Huxley, “The Traveller’s-Eye View”

A Hollywood millionaire is a strong, silent man, clean-shaven, with a face, either like a hatchet or an uncooked muffin. These, on the contrary, had tremendous beards, talked a great deal, were over-dressed and wore white gloves. They looked like a little party of Bluebeards.
—Aldous Huxley, “The Traveller’s-Eye View”

Most of the above examples are from a handout I’ve used over the years in my “Techniques of Fiction” and “Literary Travel Writing” workshops at the San Miguel Writers Conference and the Writer’s Center. In case you’ve already seen those, herewith, from recent reading, some fresh examples:

But his smile stung me like a nettle. So I barked, “Have you been to the post?”
—Arthur Japin, The Two Hearts of Kwasi Boachi

My playing is no more like hers, than a lamp is like sunshine.
—Jane Austen, Emma

I have come out to lie on the rocks where I have the black edge of the north island in front of me, Galway Bay, too blue almost to look at, on my right, the Atlantic on my left, a perpendicular cliff under my ankles, and over me innumerable gulls that chase each other in a white cirrus of wings.
—J.M. Synge, The Aran Islands

Again, a curagh with two light people in it floats on the water like a nutshell
—J.M. Synge, The Aran Islands

He stuck with the tried and true—adding figures in his head. You could hear his lips whispering quick-quick-quick, like nuts rolling down a hill, and before you knew it he had the balance.
—Yenta Mash, “The Irony of Fate,” in On the Landing (translated from the Yiddish by Ellen Cassedy)

#

WALLACE STEGNER’S
BEYOND THE HUNDREDTH MERIDIAN

In the past couple of weeks, apropos of my book in-progress on Far West Texas (trying to get my mind around the history of the American West in general and Reclamation in particular) I’ve had the rich pleasure of reading Wallace Stegner’s Beyond the Hundredth Meridan: John Wesley Powell and the Second Opening of the West. Stegner is a master of many things, including “the metaphor stuff.”

Some examples:

It is easy to skirt the region, hard to cross it, for from Bear Lake at its northern border to the Vermillion Cliffs along the south, Utah has a spine like a Stegasuarus.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 161

Powell saw the boat hang for a breath at the head of the rapid and then sweep into it.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 63

Suppose he and his family endured the sun and glare on their treeless prairie, and were not demolished by the cyclones that swept across the plains like great scythes.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 220

The inflexible fact of aridity lay like a fence along the 100th meridian.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 229

Characteristically, he took on more than he could finish. He was a Thor, always getting caught in an attempt to drink the ocean dry or uproot the Midgard serpent.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 279

His handling of the Commission was like a skilled muleskinner’s handling of a twenty-mule team.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 289

Three hundred and sixty degrees of horizon ringed them, the sky fitted the earth like a bell jar.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 297

And in these last examples, in addition to “metaphor stuff,” Stegner also uses alliteration, listing, and repetition:

The great men of Zion are on the map in Brigham City and Heber City and Knightsville, and beween and among these are scattered those dense but hollow names, smooth outside with use, packed with associations like internal crystals, that come from the Bible or the Book of Mormon—names that are like Lehi and Manti and Hebron, Nephi and Moroni and Moab.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 192

But here before him was the opportunity of his life, the massive and complex problem of planning for the West whose parts meshed in an intricate system. And here was he with twenty years of experience and knowledge, every bit of which could be applied to the problem as an engine’s power is applied to the axles. The action of Congress, stumilated by Stewart and Teller, had shifted him into gear, and he was not now going to be content with making a humming noise or moving pistons meaninglessly up and down. He was going to turn wheels.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 305

It was the West itself that beat him, the Big Bill Stewarts and Gideon Moodys, the land and cattle and water barons, the plain homesteaders, the locally patriotic, the ambitious, the venal, the acquisitive, the myth-bound West which insisted on running into the future like a streetcar on a gravel road.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 338

He was not merely an explorer, an opener, and an observer, he was a prophet. And yet by the law of motion (and hence of history) which he himself accepted, his motion as a particle in the jar and collision of American life was bound to be spiral. His reforms have taken effect, his plans have been adopted, but partially, belatedly, sidelong, as a yielding resultant of two nearly equal stresses.
—Stegner, BTHM, p. 350

>> Find more workshop posts in the archive here; and many more resources at my workshop page on www.cmmayo.com here.

From The Writer’s Carousel: Literary Travel Writing

It Can Be Done! This Writer’s Distraction Free Smartphone

C.M. Mayo’s Workshop Page: Resources for Writers

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.


Poetic Alliteration

As of this year the second Monday of the month is dedicated to my writing workshop students and anyone else interested in creative writing.

Poetic alliteration is one of the many techniques you can use to make your writing more vivid and powerful. The definiton of alliteration: “The occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words.”

From (of all things) a movie review by Desson Howe in the Washington Post:

“There he is, in all his glory, Brad Pitt, that beautiful, chiseled chunk of celebrity manhood. You want him? Go see Fight Club. You want action, muscle, and atmosphere? You want boys bashing boys in bloody, living color? Fight Club is your flick, dude.” 

To start with, we have “chiseled chunk” — ch and then ch

In the fourth sentence we have “action, muscle, and atmosphere”– ah and ah

Then “boys bashing boys in bloody, living color”– b, b, b, and b

Then “Fight Club is your flick, dude” — f and f

The point: the sound of the words– alliteration– reinforces the meaning.

#

More examples:

“…hold on with a bull-dog grip and chew and choke as much as possible”
— Letter, President Lincoln to General Grant

“When somebody threatens me, he says, I usually tell them to pack a picnic and stand in line.”
— Mikey Weinstein quoted in Marching As to War by Alan Cooperman

“A competitor once described [mining engineer Frank Holmes] as ‘a man of considerable personal charm, with a bluff, breezy, blustering, buccaneering way about him’ “
— Daniel Yergin,  The Prize

“Small heart had Harriet for visiting”
— Jane Austen, Emma

#

As I cannot repeat often enough, as a writer, your best teachers are the books you have already read and truly loved– the books that made you want to write your own. (These books or may not get the Seal of Approval from your English professor– but never mind. Some academics may be artists, and some artists academics, but in general they are creatures as different from one another as a coyote and a horse.)

To repeat: As a writer, your best teachers are the books you have already read and truly loved. Pull one of those beloved books off your bookshelf, have a read-through, see where and how the author uses alliteration. Or not?

Once you recognize a technique you can often spot it in, say, a newspaper article, a biography, or an advertisement. More about reading as a writer here.

Help yourself to more resources for writers on my Resources for Writers page.

Blast Past Easy: A Permutation Exercise with Clichés

Working with a Working Library: Kuddelmuddel

C.M. Mayo’s Workshop Page

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.


Poetic Listing

A much-celebrated poem that amounts to a list– a luminous list– is Robert Pinsky’s “The Shirt.”

How to make a list into something poetic? It helps to be attentive to and creative with diction drops and spikes, repetition, scansion, and alliteration. I’ve already posted on diction and on repetition; in future months look for posts on scansion and alliteration.

Herewith, taken from a few favorite works, are some examples of poetic listing– and to get the most of this, to really hear the poetry, I would suggest that you read these aloud:

#

“During the first days she kept busy thinking about changes in the house. She took the shades off the candlesticks, had new wall-paper put up, the staircase repainted, and seats made in the garden round the sundial; she even inquired how she could get a basin with a jet fountain and fishes.” 
Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

“We eat our supper (cold biscuits, bacon, blackberry jam) and discuss tomorrow. Tomorrow the kind of work I like best begins: buying. Cherries and citron, ginger and vanilla and canned Hawaiian pineapple, rinds and raisins and walnuts and whiskey and oh, so much flour, butter so many eggs, spices, flavorings: why, we’ll need a pony to pull the buggy home.” 
Truman Capote, A Christmas Memory

“Tonight he wished for little things, the chance to take a hot bath, a reasonable suit of clothing, a gift to bring, at the very least some flowers, but then the room tilted slightly in the other direction and he opened up his hands and all of that fell away from him and he wanted nothing.” 
Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

“The carriage was crammed: waves of silk, ribs of three crinolines, billowed, clashed, entwined almost to the heights of their heads; beneath was a tight press of stockings, girls silken slippers, the Princess’s bronze-colored shoes, the Prince’s patent-leather pumps; each suffered from the others feet and could find nowhere to put his own.” 
Guiseppe di Lampedusa, The Leopard

And an example I also used in the post on repetition (money, money, money):

“Tancredi, he considered, had a great future; he would be the standard-bearer of a counter-attack which the nobility, under new trappings, could launch against the social State. To do this he lacked only one thing: money; this Tancredi did not have; none at all. And to get on in politics, now that a name counted less, would require a lot of money: money to buy votes, money to do the electors favors, money for a dazzling style of living…”  
Guiseppe di Lampedusa, The Leopard

#

To take this further, as you are reading whatever you happen to be reading, note in your notebook whenever you find, in your view, any especially apt use of poetic listing. (>>More on reading as a writer here.)

P.S. Help yourself to many more resources for writers on my workshop page.

Poetic Repetition

Grokking Plot: The Elegant Example of Bread and Jam for Frances

Q & A: Amy Hale Auker, Author of Ordinary Skin: Essays from Willow Springs

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.


Poetic Repetition

As of this year, 2018, the second Monday of the month is dedicated to my writing workshop students and anyone else interested in creative writing.

Unintentional repetition of a word or phrase in your writing is rather like going out the door with another sweater clinging to the back of your sweater — uh, dorky. Or smiling wide– with a piece of spinach stuck between your front teeth. It’s the sort of thing we all do on occasion, and that is why we need to revise, revise, revise.

Intentional repetition on the other hand, can bring in the bongo-drums of musicality! Here are some examples of this powerful poetic technique:

#

“Man lives in the flicker, Man lives in the flicker.”
— Mark Slade, “The New Metamorphosis” Mosaic 8 (1975), quoted in Marshal McLuhan, “Man and Media,” transcript of a talk delivered in 1979, in Understanding Me: Lectures and Interviews (MIT Press, 2005).

Wanting to be read, wanting the recognition, whether its Jacqueline Susan-style, all glitz and limos, or sweeping the gland slam of literary events, is not a crime.”
— Betsy Lerner, The Forest for the Trees

“You have also never said one word about my poor little Highland book my only book. I had hoped that you and Fritz would have liked it.”
— Queen Victoria (letter to her daughter, 23/12/1865)

“Tancredi, he considered, had a great future; he would be the standard-bearer of a counter-attack which the nobility, under new trappings, could launch against the social State. To do this he lacked only one thing: money; this Tancredi did not have; none at all. And to get on in politics, now that a name counted less, would require a lot of money: money to buy votes, money to do the electors favors, money for a dazzling style of living…”
— Guiseppe di Lampedusa, The Leopard

“I saw Master Kelley put of the base metal into the crucible, and after it was set a little upon the fire, and a very small quantity of the medicine put in, and stirred with a stick of wood, it came forth in great proportion perfect gold, to the touch, to the hammer, to the test.”
—Edward Dyer, quoted in Patrick Harpur, The Philosopher’s Secret Fire

#

In a previous post I talked about reading as a writer. One thing to notice as you read is where the author repeats a word or phrase– if you judge it effective.

P.S. Oodles of free resources for creative writers on my workshop page, including “Giant Golden Buddha” & 364 more free 5 minute writing exercises.

Diction Drops and Spikes

This Writer’s Distraction Free Smartphone (Plus an App Evaluation Flowchart to Tailor-Make Your Own)

Q & A: Ellen Cassedy and Yermiyahu Ahron Taub on Translating Blume Lempel’s Oedipus in Brooklyn from the Yiddish

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.


Diction Drops and Spikes

This blog posts on Mondays. Second Mondays of the month I devote to my writing workshop students and anyone else interested in creative writing. Welcome!

> For the archive of workshop posts click here.

Thanks to the Battle of Hastings of 1066! Because it is a blend of languages, mainly Anglo-Saxon and Norman French, English offers unusual facility for diction drops and spikes, and you, dear writerly reader, if you care to dare, can employ these for a richly dazzling array of effects. Irony, comedy, sarcasm, intimacy, poignancy, revelation, poetry, punch, sass, shock… it’s a long list and I’m sure that you can make it longer.

Here, taken from a few favorite books and blogs, are some examples of diction spikes– that is, a sudden rise in the level of formality of vocabulary and syntax (wherein it all gets very elliptically Latinate)– and drops– gettin’ funky with the grammar and using short, sharp words.

See if you can spot the spikes and drops. I separate them out for you below the quotes.

#

“What then, does one do with one’s justified anger? Miss Manners’ meager arsenal consists only of the withering look, the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command and the tilted nose. They generally work. When they fail, she has the ability to dismiss inferior behavior from her mind as coming from inferior people. You will perhaps point out that she will never know the joy of delivering a well-deserved sock in the chops. True– but she will never inspire one, either.”

— Judith Martin, Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior

SPIKE: “What then, does one do with one’s justified anger? Miss Manners’ meager arsenal consists only of the withering look, the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command and the tilted nose.”

DROP : “sock in the chops”

#

“Department of Transportation engineers explained that aluminum highway signs bore a chemical film which kept them from oxidizing. And that the film over time formed a halo effect, a light-purple tinge which migrated to stress points on the metals’ surface. The regional maintentance engineer didn’t think the sign looked a bit like the Virgin, by the way. You must of had to use your imagination. Though maybe, he admitted, he was unenlightened. The manager of the plant that supplied the aluminum sheets assured everyone that they weren’t treated by monks or anything. It was done by a bunch of folks in Alabama.”

Philip Garrison, “La Reconquisita of the Inland Empire”

SPIKE: “Department of Transportation engineers explained that aluminum highway signs bore a chemical film which kept them from oxidizing. And that the film over time formed a halo effect, a light-purple tinge which migrated to stress points on the metals’ surface.”

DROP:  “…didn’t think the sign looked a bit like the Virgin, by the way. You must of had to use your imagination…”

SPIKE:  “The manager of the plant that supplied the aluminum sheets assured everyone…”

DROP: “…they weren’t treated by monks or anything. It was done by a bunch of folks in Alabama.”

#

“As I thought about composing a new blog post over the past couple of weeks, I resisted the idea of writing about wildfire, even as the topic claimed a growing share of mind day after day. For one thing, I’ve touched the subject before. For another, yet another blog bemoaning the lack of precipitation seemed tiresome. Plus, well, geez: fires are such a downer.”

— Andrea Jones, “Out of the Background” in “Between Urban and Wild” blog, July 4, 2018

SPIKE:  “…bemoaning the lack of precipitation seemed tiresome.”

DROP: “Plus, well, geez: fires are such a downer.”

#

“When I was a young man in the 1970s, New York was on its ass. Bankrupt. President Gerald Ford told panhandling Mayor Abe Beame to ‘drop dead.’ Nothing was being cared for. The subway cars were so grafitti-splattered you could hardly find the doors or see out the windows. Times Square was like the place Pinocchio grew donkey ears. Muggers lurked in the shadows of Bonwit Teller on 57th and Fifth. These were the climax years of the post-war (WWII) diaspora to the suburbs. The middle class had been moving out of the city for three decades leaving behind the lame, the halt, the feckless, the clueless, and the obdurate ‘risk oblivious’ cohort of artsy bohemians for whom the blandishments of suburbia were a no-go state of mind. New York seemed done for.”

— James Howard Kunstler, “The Future of the City”

DROP: “…New York was on its ass.”

DROP: “drop dead.”

SPIKE: “These were the climax years of the post-war (WWII) diaspora to the suburbs. The middle class had been moving out of the city for three decades leaving behind the lame, the halt, the feckless, the clueless, and the obdurate ‘risk oblivious’ cohort of artsy bohemians for whom the blandishments of suburbia were a no-go state of mind.”

DROP: “New York seemed done for.”

#

P.S. More resources for writers on my workshop page, including “Giant Golden Buddha” and 364 More Five Minute Writing Exercises.

Virginia Tufte’s Artful Sentences: Syntax As Style

Grokking Plot: The Elegant Example of Bread and Jam for Frances

Email Ninjerie in the Theater of Space-Time

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.


Language Overlay

One of the simplest and yet most effective techniques of fiction is “langage overlay.” I first learned about this from the Canadian novelist Douglas Glover. In his essay, “The Novel as Poem,” (in Notes Home from a Prodigal Son, Oberon, 1999), Glover talks about how he dramatically improved the original draft of his first novel with this technique:

My first person narrator was a newspaperman, he had printer’s ink in his blood. [I went] through the novel, splicing in words and images, a discourse, in other words, that reflected my hero’s passion for the newspaper world. So, for example, Precious now begins: “Jerry Menenga’s bar hid like an overlooked misprint amid a block of jutting bank towers…” Or, in moments of excitement, the narrator will spout a series of headlines in lieu of thoughts.
–Douglas Glover

The key word here is “passion.” What is in your character’s world that he or she would feel passionate about? There’s not a linear formula to follow; just take a piece of paper and jot down any nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, phrases, concepts– in short, whatever pops into your mind that might do.

For example, if your character is a doctor, perhaps her world might include: 

stethoscope, Rx, nurse, pills, scalpel, sterile, billing, paperwork, white coat, bedside manner, cold corridors, patient, tubes, IV, tongue depresser, “Say ‘ahhh!'”

If your character is a chef, perhaps:

skillet, toque, cooking school, spices, basil, aroma, seasoned, blisters on hands, oven mitt, scalloped potatoes, seared, grilled, boiled, steamed, souffle, sweating in a hot kitchen, hsssss of sausage hitting the oil, Salvadorean pot-washers, waiters, paté, fois gras, freshness, crispness, apron

And surely, with a few minutes and pencil you can add another 10 to 100 more items.

But to continue, let’s say your character is a beekeeper:

Bees, hives, smoker, sunshine, blossoms, clover, lavender, moths, gnats, sting, hive tool , veil, gloves, seasons, orchards, Queen, drone, worker, nectar, pollen, propolis, furry, wings, extractor, candles, farmer’s markets, bottles, pans, wax, comb, jars, raspberry, apple, recipes, candy, pesticides, “ouch!” mites, cold, wind, directions, forest, nature

Or a shaman:

drum, flutes, shells, spells, chimes, stones, nature, mmm-bb-mmmm-bb, animals, wolves, robes, chants, tent, walking, dancing, running, wind, rain, sun, moon, stars

A writing conference organizer (this went over with a few chuckles at the San Miguel Writers Conference last year):

Internet, paper, books, authors, per diem, agents, writers, money, volunteers, hotel, telephone, e-mail, facebook, “what’s he published?”

Of course you needn’t incorporate everything on your list anymore than you would eat everything laid out on a smorgasboard. Browse, sniff, nibble, gorge, ignore– as you please. 

To give you an example from my own writing: one of the main characters in my novel, The Last Prince of the Mexican Empire, is Maximilian von Habsburg, the Austrian archduke who became Mexico’s ill-fated second emperor. One of the techniques I used to find my way into his point of view was, precisely, language overlay. Before coming to Mexico, Maximilian had served as an admiral in the Austrian Navy, so no doubt he would have used or oftentimes thought of such words as:

starboard, deck, batten the hatches, gimbles, compass, bridge, wake… 

In short, I made a long messy-looking list and kept it pinned to the bulletin board by my desk. I also used a Thesaurus, adding terms I didn’t think of right away: “kedge” was one. So I had a scene where, in land-locked Mexico City of 1866, Maximilian informs his aide that they’re going on a brief vacation to Cuernavaca. “We’ll just kedge over there…” Ha! Kedge! One of those perfectly precise words that makes novelists unhunch from their laptops, raise both fists and shout, YEEEE-AH!!! Which, you can be sure, will startle the dog.

The exercise I always give my writing workshop students:

First make your language list for the doctor. Then, in 5 minutes (about a paragraph), have him take a cooking class. 

Douglas Glover’s essay “The Novel As Poem” is such an important one for any creative writer to read, I would recommend buying the collection, Notes Home from a Prodigal Son, for that alone– but the collection does in fact include many other excellent and illuminating essays. Visit Glover’s website here.

Conjecture: The Powerful, Upfront, Fair and Square Technique 
to Blend Fiction into Your Nonfiction

Diction Drops and Spikes

Lone Star Nation: How Texas Will Transform America by Richard Parker

#

Find out more about
C.M. Mayo’s books, articles, podcasts, and more.

Techniques of Fiction: The Number One Technique in the Supersonic Overview

I have been giving this “Techniques of Fiction” workshop for a few years now at the Writer’s Center, Dancing Chiva, the San Miguel Workshops and San Miguel Writers Conference, and again at the Writer’s Center (near Washington DC).

There are two versions: the Supersonic Overview, a three hour workshop (or a little longer, as for Dancing Chiva) and the Ridiculously Supersonic Overview (as for the writers conferences), which conclude in under an hour.

You can get a PhD in creative writing (some people actually do, shake my head at that as I may), and though I believe learning to write is a never-ending, ever-deepening process, I also believe that because of the way the human brain is wired, the same few but very powerful techniques have provided, provide, and– barring bizarre genetic mutations– will continue to provide the most effective instructions to the reader to form, in John Gardner’s words, “a vivid dream” in her mind.

That’s what a novel is: instructions for a vivid dream. Sometimes I get all Californian and call it a “mandala of consciousness.” But whatever you call it, a novel is about providing the experience of someone else’s experience: Anna Karenina’s, Madame Bovary’s, Scarlet O’Hara’s, Harry Potter’s, [insert name of your main character here].

That’s what a novel is: instructions for a vivid dream. Sometimes I get all Californian and call it a “mandala of consciousness.” But whatever you call it, a novel is about providing the experience of someone else’s experience.

How do we, whether as readers, or as any human being (say, folding laundry, or maybe digging for worms with a stick) experience anything? Well, last I checked we are not free-floating blobs of consciousness (except maybe when we have out-of-body experiences and/ or when dead); we are in bodies. We experience what we experience through our bodily senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch— and I would add a “gut” or intuitive sense as well. So any fiction that is going to be readable – a successfully vivid dream– needs to address the senses.

We experience what we experience through our bodily senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch

The reader responds to specific sensory detail such as:

the color of the sweater;

the whisper of the wind in the ficus;

the droplet of honey on her tongue;

the mustiness of the refrigerator that had been left unplugged in the basement;

the cottony bulk of an armload of unfolded towels;

the sudden twinge of tightness in his throat just before he picked up the telephone.

There are an infinite number of techniques, but this– giving the reader specific sensory detail – is paramount. 

Compare:

He was sad. 
vs 
He sank his chin in his hand. With his other, he fumbled across the table for a Kleenex.

Poor people lived here.
vs
The hallway smelled of boiled cabbage and a bathroom that needed scubbing. 

Rich people lived here. 
vs 
Everything gleamed and behind her, a pair of white gloves pulled the door shut with a gentle click.

She disliked him.
vs 
The sight of him made her grit her teeth.

She ate too much. 
vs 
From the tine of her fork, she licked up the last crumb of that crumbcake.

The neighbors were obnoxious.
vs
Though the Hip-Hop came from three houses down the block, she could feel it in her breakfast table when she put her hand on it.

#

Here’s my favorite quote about detail, from a letter by Anton Chekhov:

“In descriptions of nature one should seize upon minutiae, grouping them so that when, having read the passage, you close your eyes, a picture is formed. For example, you will evoke a moonlit night by writing that on the mill dam the glass fragments of a broken bottle flashed like a bright little star, and that the black shadow of a dog or a wolf rolled along like a ball. . .”

More anon.

P.S. For some fun exercises to generate specific detail for fiction, check out “Giant Golden Buddha” and 364 More 5 Minute Writing Exercises.

See also my recommended reading list on craft.

And: many more resources for writers here.

Ten Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Writing Workshop

Consider the Typewriting (Am I Kidding? No, I Am Not Kidding)

Synge’s Aran Islands and Kapuscinski’s Travels with Herodotus

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.