Tag: Giant Golden Buddha

Writing More Vivid Descriptions (Start by Leaving the Smartphone Off)

BY C.M. MAYO — August 9, 2021 
UPDATE: This blog was then entitled Madam Mayo (2006-2022).

This blog posts on Mondays. Second Mondays of the month I devote to my writing workshop students and anyone else interested in creative writing. Welcome!

> For the archive of workshop posts click here.

We’re leaving it right where it was. My writing assistant, who had been taking his siesta on top of it, demonstrates the concept, sort of.

The next time you find yourself in mid-conversation and about to whip out your smartphone to show something— your puppy, your nephew’s tattoo, the view from your hotel room—leave the danged thing off and instead find the words to paint the picture vividly for your listener.

Why, goodness yes, this old-fashioned technique does burn a bit o’ glucose.

When you constantly rely on the smartphone to show things, rather than describe them with words as, lo, only a decade ago, before the advent of smombiedom, people used to do, you may find that your verbal descriptive abilities tend to atrophy. For this reason— and for others—for writers, smartphones can be wicked dangerous.

Herewith, a few 5 minute description writing exercises:

“Clutter”
Clutter can tell you a lot about a character. What exactly is it? And where is it? What is it blocking / obscuring? Describe the clutter of:
~ a bereaved widow who, 20 years after her husband’s death, cannot bring herself to go on a date
~ a doctoral student unable to complete his thesis
~ a yoga instructor who is addicted to Instagram
~ a chef who suffers from adult onset diabetes

“Barrel, Mirror, Telephone”
In three sentences or less describe the barrel. In three sentences or less describe the mirror. Where is the telephone? Describe what happens.

“Foyer”
Make a brief list of adjectives and nouns to describe each the following foyers:
~of an elderly society lady;
~of a college football player;
~of a convention center;
~of a funky city bookstore specializing in poetry;
~of a model condominium unit being marketed to hipsters.

For more exercises on writing descriptions, have a look at “Giant Golden Buddha” & 364 More Five Minute Writing Exercises, all free, right here.

I welcome your courteous comments which, should you feel so moved, you can email to me here.

Using Rhythm and Sound to Add Energy and Meaning to Your Prose

Q & A: Ellen Cassedy, Translator of On the Landing by Yenta Mash 

Notes on Tom Lea and His Epic Masterpiece of a Western, 
The Wonderful Country

Poetic Repetition

As of this year, 2018, the second Monday of the month is dedicated to my writing workshop students and anyone else interested in creative writing.

Unintentional repetition of a word or phrase in your writing is rather like going out the door with another sweater clinging to the back of your sweater — uh, dorky. Or smiling wide– with a piece of spinach stuck between your front teeth. It’s the sort of thing we all do on occasion, and that is why we need to revise, revise, revise.

Intentional repetition on the other hand, can bring in the bongo-drums of musicality! Here are some examples of this powerful poetic technique:

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“Man lives in the flicker, Man lives in the flicker.”
— Mark Slade, “The New Metamorphosis” Mosaic 8 (1975), quoted in Marshal McLuhan, “Man and Media,” transcript of a talk delivered in 1979, in Understanding Me: Lectures and Interviews (MIT Press, 2005).

“Wanting to be read, wanting the recognition, whether its Jacqueline Susan-style, all glitz and limos, or sweeping the gland slam of literary events, is not a crime.”
— Betsy Lerner, The Forest for the Trees

“You have also never said one word about my poor little Highland book my only book. I had hoped that you and Fritz would have liked it.”
— Queen Victoria (letter to her daughter, 23/12/1865)

“Tancredi, he considered, had a great future; he would be the standard-bearer of a counter-attack which the nobility, under new trappings, could launch against the social State. To do this he lacked only one thing: money; this Tancredi did not have; none at all. And to get on in politics, now that a name counted less, would require a lot of money: money to buy votes, money to do the electors favors, money for a dazzling style of living…”
— Guiseppe di Lampedusa, The Leopard

“I saw Master Kelley put of the base metal into the crucible, and after it was set a little upon the fire, and a very small quantity of the medicine put in, and stirred with a stick of wood, it came forth in great proportion perfect gold, to the touch, to the hammer, to the test.”
—Edward Dyer, quoted in Patrick Harpur, The Philosopher’s Secret Fire

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In a previous post I talked about reading as a writer. One thing to notice as you read is where the author repeats a word or phrase– if you judge it effective.

P.S. Oodles of free resources for creative writers on my workshop page, including “Giant Golden Buddha” & 364 more free 5 minute writing exercises.

Diction Drops and Spikes

This Writer’s Distraction Free Smartphone (Plus an App Evaluation Flowchart to Tailor-Make Your Own)

Q & A: Ellen Cassedy and Yermiyahu Ahron Taub on Translating Blume Lempel’s Oedipus in Brooklyn from the Yiddish

Find out more about C.M. Mayo’s books, shorter works, podcasts, and more at www.cmmayo.com.